Actually, Annoy Squidward Day is January 15th. Although the calendar doesn’t have the month written on it, if you continue to watch the episode, they’re competing for January’s Employee of the Month.
The first ever biological experiment on the moon. Also, the first non-human species on the moon and the first plant.
Soon it will mutate into some kind of cotton monster and get loose in the space station, run amok and, I dunno eat all the dirty clothes in the laundry basket?
florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen
keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe
jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess
harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s
lorde: 1920′s flapper era
hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE
john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would
paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s
I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..
as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.
many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5.
the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.
in any case,
it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.
this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it
It’s funny how some people don’t realize like. When I was in elementary school every year we had “intruder” drills. They were always kinda spooky but I never thought anything of it when I was a kid. The teacher would turn the light off and lock the room doors and we’d all have to quietly hide under desks until the intercom announced it was over. Sometimes there’d be someone walking around and trying the doors to the classrooms to make sure they were locked. Never seemed strange to me as a kid, but talking with my canadian spouse they look mortified
It’s wild how much of life in the US revolves around the unending threat of murder and violence. And by wild I mean a nightmare.
Forever alone here Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/orange_juice_ho/
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Gabrielle Here. I post whatever funny stuff is on my dash. I occasionaly post Homestuck as I'm still obsessed with that web comic 6 years later
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General info about my blog: about 30,000 posts -- Been active since 2013 -- Will sometimes take several months off from blogging due to real life reasons.
